Golfgrín á laugardegi

Nú er tími til að líta aftur um öxl og rifja upp atvikið daginn agalega þegar komst upp um fjöldaframhjáhöld Tiger og því eiginkona hans sótti um skilnað.

Sú frétt fór eins og eldur í sinu að Elín Nordegren hefði hrakið Tiger úr húsi þeirra og barið hann með kylfum og hann verið í þvílíku sjokki að hann hefði keyrt á brunahana (ens.: fire hydrant).

Margir golfbrandarar voru í kjölfarið sagðir um þennan atburð og verða hér rifjaðir upp nokkrir gamlir og þreyttir.

Þeir verða einfaldlega birtir á ensku því þeir missa sig svolítið í þýðingu:

The police asked Tiger’s wife how many times she hit him. „I can’t remember,“ Elin said, „just put me down for a 5.“

Ping has a new set of irons called Elins. They’re clubs you can beat Tiger with.

What does Tiger Woods have in common with a baby seal? They’ve both been clubbed by a Norwegian. (Of course, Elin is actually Swedish. But poetic license is allowed in jokes.)

Did you hear Tiger changed his name to Cheetah?

Tiger’s other women aren’t misstresses. They’re provisionals.

Did you hear Nike’s new motto? Just do me.

What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Santa stopped at three ho’s.

Tiger crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.

What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a golf ball 400 yards.

Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.

Tiger has a new movie coming out. It’s called Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.