Golfgrín á laugardegi 2017 (7)

Hér fara þrír brandarar, sem ekki eru þýddir:

Nr. 1

A minister, a priest and a rabbi were golfing one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake on the 14th hole. Since it was fairly secluded and not many golfers were on the course, they took off all their clothes and jumped in the water.
Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to walk over to the rough to pick a few berries while enjoying their „freedom.“ As they were crossing the fairway, who should come along but a group of ladies from town getting ready to tee off.
Unable to get to their clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover.
After the ladies had teed off and moved on, the men got their clothes back on. The minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather than his privates. The rabbi replied, „I don’t know about you, but in MY congregation, it’s my face they would recognize.“

Nr. 2

So there are three golfers, (Steve, Paul, and Donnie) who are looking for a fourth. Donnie mentions that his friend Gus is a pretty good golfer, so they decide to invite him for the following Saturday. „Sure, I’d love to play,“ says Gus, „but I may be about ten minutes late, so wait for me.“ So Saturday rolls around. Steve, Paul, and Donnie arrive promptly at 9:00 and find Gus already waiting for them. He plays right-handed and beats them all. Quite pleased with their new fourth, they ask him if he’d like to play again the following Saturday. „Yeah, sounds great,“ says Gus. „But I may be about ten minutes late, so wait for me.“ The following Saturday, again, all four golfers show up on time (including Gus), but this time Gus plays left-handed and beats them all. As they’re getting ready to leave, Gus says, „See you next Saturday, but I may be about ten minutes late, so wait for me.“ Every week, Gus is right on time and plays great with whichever hand he decides to use. And every week, he departs with the same message. After a couple months, Paul is pretty tired of this routine, so he says, „Wait a minute, Gus. Every week you say you may be about ten minutes late, but you’re right on time. You beat us either left-handed or right-handed. What’s the story?“ „Well,“ Gus says, „I’m kind of superstitious. When I get up in the morning, I look at my wife. If she’s sleeping on her left side, I play left-handed and if she’s sleeping on her right side, I play right-handed.“ „So what do you do if she’s sleeping on her back?“ Steve asks. „Then I’m about ten minutes late,“ Gus answers.

Nr. 3

Two longtime golfing buddies got to the course one day and decided that today they would play the ball where it lies… „No matter what!“ On the 14th hole, one of them sliced his ball and it ended up on the cart path. As he reached down to pick up his ball to get relief, his friend said, „Wait a minute! We agreed that we would not improve our lies! Remember? No matter what!“
The first player tried to explain that he was entitled to this relief that it was in the rules of golf. But the second fellow would not allow it. Finally, in disgust, the man went to the cart and grabbed a club. As he stood near his ball, he took a few practice swings, each time scraping the club on the pavement and sending out showers of sparks. Finally, he took his shot. The club hit the cement again, sparks went flying, but his ball shot straight towards the green, landed and rolled to a stop — two inches from the cup. „Great shot!“ his friend exclaimed. „What club did you use?“ The man answered with a wry smile, „Your 7-iron!“